Vol No: 83,
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AGONY AUNT

Dear Auntie Jo,

I am a mother of three children and my third child is still a baby. I love my husband very much but he is not helping me with the house work and I feel very stressed because I have so much responsibility which includes my part time job, you see, I started having my children at the age of 18yrs. So to me I missed my teenage years and did not go out much. I thought house chores was supposed to be shared between us.

 He pays the house bill and the mortgage, but I also contribute which is fine but the least he can do is look after the young one while I do other things I need to do on a weekend but instead he will go out with his friends to have fun. Whilst I get stuck with the children. Sometimes I feel being used and mentally exhausted, and get very angry, talking to my husband is impossible as if am talking to a brick wall. I have tried several times asking for help but he tells me that it is a womanís responsibility. 

What should l I do? Now I feel one of these days, I will just take my bag and run.
Sussie from Thamesmead.

Dear Sussie,

My heart goes to you. It is not easy to look after three children which is a full time job by itself plus another job, am not surprise you feel the way you are feel now, but running away is not the answer, you need to sit your husband down at the right time and express yourself. 

Also it depends on where in Africa you originate from. Most Africans grow up thinking that a man goes out to work while the wife does the house work, changing this mindset will be difficult but it is possible You could get some family members involved, since you also work, and maybe they will help you out.

 Another suggestion is to get a babysitter and go out with your husband every now and then. 

Good luck

Dear Auntie

I really need your help auntie please!!I am caught up in a situation that I canít easily get myself out of. I have fallen in love with two guys.Both guys are good to me and they have different personalities which makes it even harder for me to chose. 

I have known both guys for the past four months now. I am so confused please help me. I know this might seem so wrong to some people but I never put myself in the situation willingly, I think emotions took over. 

I wait to hear from you auntie as my future depends on your advice. I am 25 years old.
Confused Yaa

My dear Yaa
I know at the age of 25year you are still growing up.At this present time even to have one guy is a 24hour job,how much more two,that means over time. 

My dear,I know what you are going through as you said two people with different personalities is very hard to make a decision. You are the only person who knows the most important guy for life time commitment. I feel four months is not long enough to get to know someone very well, you need to spend more time before you commit yourself but with only one of them, otherwise you will lose them both when they find out. 

You will also lose your respect and dignity. My dear life is not a race ,take time and pray for guidance ,I tell you when the right man comes along you will know him.
Good luck


If you have any stories, family problems, relationship or any other issues you want to share, Please contact us on African Echo 02085195588 or email us on  info@africanecho.co.uk.

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